Prolapsed Uterus Hormonal Imbalance

Twenty Five: Oneshot 3 [2 / 2]

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TITLE: Diary of a native Mä ; girl

charas

: Lavender, Cedric, Parvati

PAIRING: RATING Lavced

: P-12

GENRES: Romance, Humor

Abgehakt : 5,000 Words Plus, Genre humor, genre romance, genre, diaries, ° How won so vanished °

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DIARY OF A BALANCED GIRL.

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Thursday 15 December 1994.

been invited to the ball: 0 time (hope begins to wane), people who pelted me with fruit: 3 (perverse fashion to rapidly foot Hogwarts); Dreamed, Cho Chang with nail scissors as potions book in the last year to snip to pieces in tiny pieces: 5 time (own violence is rising steadily), I said I need not Cedric Diggory: all five Minutes, I threw on his knees and tearfully begged the sky, Cedric Diggory was to mine, and I mean really and truly my own: every two minutes (self-esteem have drowned in chocolate pudding and I now want to loose bundle of nerves).

07:11 clock in the girls' dormitory.

view from the window prompts me to declare my bed to ultimately become a new home and convenience to order to go into the bathroom, direct travel from bed to shower only need a valid ID card, whereas the distance between dormitory and bathroom already require proper passport. Hermione gave me very detailed (snoring) explains how this all works, in my universe and what countries and what would be continents. But must ask again, what are ID cards and passports.

sky outside is not just bleak, but gray as Cedric's eyes. Take it to the cosmos very bad, reminds me now have the whole damn World what I can not have. Very depressed. I refuse to leave my home and founded my absences from school so that everything is out of the Gryffindor tower to another planet and I have unfortunately misplaced my flying saucer.

07:30 clock in earlier ; hstück

Hello, Diary of Lavender, Parvati Patil writes here, early Potter and Queen of England. Your owner is trying to push her bed in our bathroom, since I've summarily kidnapped. Incredibly that they again Sun lets go! Face it, doubt it slowly, if we really are soul sisters. Sure, it runs at the moment not as desired, but please, everyone has their little (or extremely large) problems. So I woke up this example and realized that I bought last Hogsmeadewochenende concealing a dozen in the wrong shade . Argh. Once shown to slightly stained face, already has the reputation ruined and all the trouble in recent years for nothing. Harry sees me already so strange. Determined it has long been noticed that I now not as fresh and spotless as usual look. Actually thought it would jump in his eyesight did not immediately apparent, but-

Oh, I really wanted to write from Lavender.

sky, the good moves total frustration. Cedric Diggory, the love of her life trying, still with the stupid Cho Chang (Lavender it has identified you as a 'bitch' or 'waterfall presented \u0026lt;) to bandeln. Half the goddamn school is in love with. She is so beautiful, so nice, so smart! Oh, Cho let me kiss your feet and to publish your honor a book of poems with kitschy garbage! Kotzwürgbrech. Even Harry, I could have

ME, staring at her constantly on the butt and get this goggle eyes. Why, oh, goddess of love, he falls not my charm and know that I alone am worthy to give his heart out for? How is it that two people are destined for each other at every level, and can not find each other after all? My father is a native of India, it is not because the Asian enough? Does it really Quillsch the cow with the ancestors from Cambodia, Malaysia, South Korea, or know exactly where the vultures are in Asia?


Hoops, again from the topic strayed. Will not more.

know they have learned this summer through their mutual give and take of tuition, but that it has identified to you long ago, in great detail, tells fat written and fully as you are. You, the rivets in transformation and the genius in Fortune-telling, he may, of everything except tea cups swivel correctly. They would give off a cute couple, I do not deny, and I would treat my soul sister anyway. They spend a lot of time together, as are sucked out chewing gum and chewing gum paper. I wonder if Cedric is under the Imperius. The way he looks at Lavender, I think every time it falls to his knees and asks for her hand. Trust it to the bitch through out that she used one of the unforgivable to Cedric suppressing true feelings and make it to one of far too many waterfall trailers.

Anyway, I must admit, the best friend in no case that Lavender entrenched and only chocolate pudding (Wääh, sugar! Pimple alert!) Inside scoops in itself. If they more often skipped the lesson, they soon fly from the school and ends up as a dishwasher in a seedy club for senile sorcerer. And even if she's lucky. 'm Not sure if she knows how to wash a plate. Perhaps they also would be naked in front of the club and their input a 'stand-up-pills on request \u0026lt;sign hanging around his neck.

with a hijacked diary I still always managed to lure them out of hiding. Sometimes I almost think she loves you more than me. Paah, yet you're just an ugly book, and you can not even provide decent food and beauty tips! No, Lavender needs me. Total. More than you. Oh yes. It may be that they are also entrusted to you all and all, but you have no soul, you can not be her soul sister. Anyway, everyone has only a soul sister. This is me, not you No, I'm not jealous of you! Stop it, to say that! Paah, you stupid book, you! Shut up! No, you keep up! You! Argh! I will same

08:32 clock in the classroom .

Parvati has totally lost his mind and argued loudly in public with you, good quality. Just came back to my bedside table, when I realized with horror that you're gone. Was complete OhmeinGottichsterbeundsterbeundsterbe moment. I immediately stopped in order to model my universe accordingly and ran directly into the Great Hall. Who on earth is mean enough for such an act and has the opportunity to enter the dorm? Parvati, Parvati only. Unfortunately I have not thought of me to put on something else (still wearing pajamas with chicken print) and the dried saliva of course I have to wake up and not cleaned from the mouth. Large class.

"The Monster of Loch Lav," cried Colin Creevey. Do not laugh.

"Cute, chuckled the constantly erupting into tears waterfall. Castle erupts in laughter and points finger at me. I personally found better since Colin's comment so far, but with no cleavage and klebrigsüssem smile, toddlers will like him no attention.

"Give my baby back, "I shrieked shrilly, and fell on my girlfriend. "Say what you want a ransom and let us finish the deal! You get everything, give everything of me, but my cat back from Hulda, "

Yeah, I know that you hate your name. Would have to blame themselves, not stop at your first day will fall on me in the litter box from Mrs. Norris.

A mandarin slammed me rudely on the forehead. Fred Weasley was leaning back in his chair and grinned as if he had his breakfast had not taken with a view of kuchenessende chickens themselves. "Really gorgeous, your outfit. If that's even in bright pink, there I must have it. "

" Absolutely, "George Weasley, of course, agreed immediately and peppered on a grape my ear. "What you wear under it really? I want to be like you, Lavender. You are my fashion role model. "

two seconds I was really flattered about the compliment, but then something grabbed me roughly by the arm and I looked up directly in two giant black nostrils. Confrontation with Snape, blood sugar in the basement, chances of survival low.

"Brown!" He thundered, and distributed it spittle on my face. Stinky still raw after devouring virgins and Einhornbrei. "What comes now been back?"

A homeless witches, we "grant temporary refuge," McGonagall assured by all directions, so the guests from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang and so do not come up with the idea Hogwarts Währe the headquarters of pervert, spinners and shameless hussy. She ran to me, snatched me Snape catches and pulled me out of the unyielding Great Hall, just inside the room for transformation. Had just enough time to catch up to me, but chocolate pudding to strengthen and start to the day was not naturally there. Hmph.

clock 12:34 lunch .

running during the break in the same dorm and slipped into school uniform. Will now report all> Lavii with the chickens, "and asked if is shown on all my sleep clothes my family. I figure it does not. "Cedric has seen me in my pajamas chicken!" I cried on the way to the next class room and clung desperately myself firmly to Parvati's arm. "I wanted him to believe it, I sleep in super sexy, super uncomfortable underwear and look after rising as the goddess of lust and passion in person,"

"You wanted to let him believe you were I ?" she asked puzzled.

You're stupid. "

" And you sleep with a Hu hnerfarm. "Parvati shook my finger and rubbed over the affected area on her upper arm. They keep pretending that I would deal with it roughly, I've used it a few times more than plucked single tuft of hair or leave some tiny Kratzerchen on their skin. I am a very gentle, sweet nature. "Never mind the nonsense and give us the contact really " urgent matters. "

I have no desire to forge plans for world conquest," I pouted. "You want to always wear a crown and I will do all the dirty work. No, thank you. Look at yourself, how you traversed the 5 servings of vegetables and fruit-a-day rule. "

I am talking about the really, really

urgent matters. "

Oh, the Christmas Ball, all right. "I hear mistress of my ass."

"Knock it off, call me so! The people are still stupid thoughts, face it. "

My goodness. It got it all but that I want to express how much I love her for it saves me time and again the butt. What one can understand it wrong? "Okay, then a Queen Patil."

"Even better," she says, and nods satisfied. "By far the most important thing is that we both find a passable companion. Imagine what would happen if not! I would be totally the laughing stock. Social outsiders. Lavender, Our whole future depends on this one evening, "

she's right. Cedric has already invited the stupid Cho, he told me yesterday, as I have explained the proper use of the love oracle. The pendulum in my hand has played crazy and then the adit Pince rushed right between the eyes. Cho hate, and hate a little Cedric, because he just goes with the cow on the ball, which I hate and I hate to hate him, makes me quite confused in the head. 'm Genetically designed to handle to love him, so have the opposite feeling the same effect as the statement that chocolate does not buy happiness but thick.

now holding out for a suitable candidate as a ball accompaniment, should male, handsome, popular, be older than 11 and humans. Selection is small, raw nerves. Will not die a lonely, bitter virgin.

20:21 clock in the infirmary.

On the way back to Gryffindor tower slammed full force into something with my mind at that moment came a little enthusiastic> Lavender! Fang \u0026lt;. World before my eyes explode in colors, then all black. Have awakened here in the infirmary in a bed, on my lap a coconut.

"Your reflexes are" bad, "said Madam Pomfrey, and patted my head vigorously. Ouch, not good, not good. "The dear Miss Chang had seen today at breakfast, that you seem to have recently been very concerned about a healthy diet and take more fruit and the like to be. They thought it a good idea to support their lifestyle and therefore has a coconut concerned for you. Unfortunately, they reacted too late, and the nice touch it has knocked out. "

Nice gesture? Will verpopoen me? The bitch wanted to convey with this coconut to the afterlife, damn it! Where are the Aurors? I will refund complaint for attempted murder! Does this bitch to Azkaban and leave them there to rot! This ... this ... waah!

target toss nasty Heuschreckenpipitrank for the pain and spend the night in the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey has pointed out, if I want to send a letter of thanks for Cho coconut, it takes me like parchment and ink. Have claimed hypocritically that would be a good idea.

Vengeance is mine! Peas to swallow your eyesight and Flubberwürmer scrape your insides! And thanks for the coconut. Become her black long hair wig and put in cracking sing praises about your generosity.

May Satan have pity on you and you ram the trident in the Popo,

your Lavender.

01:46 clock in the infirmary.

Shortly before midnight, I woke up from sleep, because the coconut (fell asleep with revenge fantasies) in my arms at one time developed a life of its own and I tried to escape.

"You stay here, Cho-nut," I mumbled, pulling the crap with a jerk to me again. "Get up and crack your nut milk slurp. "

" Sorry. "

Holy shit, the Cho-nut has awakened to life! Cho-nut talking about! Short touch of motherly feelings towards the Cho-nut, at least I had the hours in the arm and spoke with her when she was a bitch of a real person. If yes may be, that has developed in that time an intimate bond between us that the rules and laws of the universe defies us and paves the way for a mother-daughter, two-man show to be famous. Only after repeated blinking and yawning, I realized that the nut was still dead and stupid in front of me but a figure in a dark room stood. Assassin! Engine-driven raids 2.klässler helpless wounded!

A hand was pressed firmly on my open mouth. "Lavender psst, to shout stop!"

»Hilble! Blauble dlingelnd Hilble, "

" I am. Cedric. "

Uuh. Ooh. Shortness of breath. goosebumps. Glut (as in ardor

).

"grapeshot!" I said Cho-nut, and when Cedric leaned down closer to my face and looked confused: "coconut language. Means something like> "Fear not, child, the nocturnal visitor is friend, not foe. \u0026lt;Maybe it also means> Yellow Snow \u0026lt;no good,

'm not sure. Have the coconut language learned only today. "

I would sink into the soil of my drivel, I would not have tens of thousands of times loony left out. Also, I was only a few hours almost killed, that excuses almost every Nonsense.

"It seems you go to so much good." Cedric looked relieved and sat down smiling to me on the bed. "You have to really week

land on the ward?"

»Paah, pure exaggeration."

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Sun often I end up really not in the infirmary. Yesterday I had the lids had closed in on the blinking crap stairs a bit too long I promptly tripped over my own feet and like a bag of liquorice sticks runtergepoltert the many steps. For the fourth time this school year. But before that I was almost two weeks, healthy and doing well! happened

"What this time?" asked Cedric. Hach, he sounded so worried about me. My hero. My treasure. My umbrella with rain nutty weather. My bloody heart in the chest. My broom handle in the ... ... Okay, enough with it.

I was shot down by Cho Chang with a coconut! " " Please? "Cedric stared at the Cho-nut and frowned. "Probably there was no-Absi"

"But of course that you take them in protection," exclaimed I offended. "The dear, oh so wonderful but Cho would never time mean and devious and homicidal , No, not yet subdued. Full-sacrifice as she is, she spends her free time to knit socks for homeless and poltergeists centaurs to serve soup. But shoot down innocent girl like me with a nut? Never! She is a cow and you're stupid, oh yes. "

" I'm stupid? "

"complete want you to ask this question, it shows clearly," I schupste him hard get off of my bed was sent and jump with hands on hips beside him, slid, however with the butt of the coconut on the rumpled sheets, and

; -landed in a flawless Flittchenposition astride Cedric. Juchuu. No, Lavender, we take this situation is not enough. Stop still, rumzufummeln at his shirt, hell sometimes! How I detest the moral high ground in me. Copying is bad, stealing sweets an offense, Cedric to take off on the floor of the hospital a sin blah, blah .

I'm very angels and little devils. Should I take an example at the bitch, and simply stop at nothing (must find out what shampoo she uses to keep my hair in the ruthless world conquest also shines as beautiful as her).

"I do not leave you down," I swore Cedric, smart as I am now times. Just because we are attracted because of my moral apostle remained, which meant far, I could not beat out from the position. Wondered just what I aimed carefully. "First, if du mir gesagt hast, dass du mich liebst.«

     Oh, ein erzwungenes Liebesgeständnis.     

»Ich soll-«

     »Halt! Das zweite Wort ist falsch!«     

Cedric unter mir schüttelte verständnislos den Kopf. »Es wäre besser, wenn du dich wieder in dein Bed lay. I was already back in my dorm before me by Madam Pomfrey here. "

I pouted.

Cedric said, still not 'I love you'. Hmph.

Very reluctantly I climbed down from him. And left the Cho-nut plop right on his stomach. Hey, over-reaction. "Get stupid but happy with Cho!" "Lavender ..."

"Oops, you know my name. Very nice. And now you forgave you before I Stülpe my panties over his head and burn it. Regards to Cho. And no, I would not be invited to the wedding. "

" Lavender ... "

I thought actually, Cedric would be a pretty smart kid and everything, but who can only repeat my name and are probably asking if Lavender is a horse race has clearly direct once too often had skin contact with the poisonous saliva of the waterfall. Maybe Cedric is still not the love of my life. I deserve someone to repair the broken water lines with pure muscle power, and not stupidly grinning with rusty water rubbing, oh yes!

Friday 16 December 1994

invitations to the Christmas Ball: 0 (No, that does not destroy my ego can not..); Ideas how I could forget Cedric: 2 (One of them is based on me by someone the Geda ; to have puncture with a Memory charm) passed me. 1 time; beaten me: 1 time; New Nickname: The struggles with the cotton swab

07:32 clock in the infirmary.

She sind wieder fit genug, um den Unterricht zu besuchen«, sagte Madam Pomfrey, während sie mir mit einem kräftigen Ruck die Decke entriss und mir dabei die Wange tätschelte. Ihr Blick fiel auf die runde Wölbung unter meinem enganliegendem Schlafoberteil, die meinen Bauch

leicht unförmig aussehen liess. »Möchten Sie mir etwas sagen, Miss Brown?«

     Statt einer Antwort schlug ich mir die Hände vor den Mund, plumpste ungeschickt aus meinem Bett und stürzte ins Badezimmer. Gute Güte, ich could imagine that there is more than is inadvisable to eat something that has given me the waterfall. Argh! An arm around the coconut shell half wound on my stomach, I threw up noisily into the toilet bowl and gave it to me gurgling curses ( hair flaring, röchel, fork, choke, in the eye, choke, shooting ). Waah, how come I had to because after Cedric's departure yesterday hold absolutely still a little emotional eating? In the stupid hospital to let nothing edible find (other than a sticky, sucking in candy that stuck under my bed), So just had to believe that Cho-nut in it. And I may not even coconuts Hmph.

I should contact your tutor, "it sounded behind me. The Pomfrey looked at my stomach, shaking his head and gave> tzze \u0026lt;sounds.

What is this girl just always hires tzze. Now she can be pregnant even of a coconut, tzze. I am the product of immaculate purity, damn it! Why no one believes me only? "Do you want me too I like your Parents get in touch? "

Weak I left on the toilet bowl and fell on his back. Colin Creevey had said at this point, someone would have flattened me. "What you just because bubble again? McGonagall? My parents? I can not in the class, I'm sick and exhausted and in the wrong circumstances. "

" It is, in other

"circumstances she corrected me.

With enough sugar in the blood, I would be jumping mad at her feet and had the hell made this hot that they me in all seriousness, pregnant

holds. First time my coconut belly looked strange indeed, but definitely not really pregnant, secondly, I was informed two weeks ago by Parvati and know now that children are not created by merely holding hands (yuck, my parents were both naked, and at the same time I have

made ). Anyway, I'm no one's holding hands, the only one who came as a father for my phantom baby in question would be, Crookshanks. Have him recently on bundles kotzorangen packed tail to pull him from my top, he just ripped it with enthusiasm. Bastard.

I pushed my head up and pulled a piece of the coconut shell of my stomach. Madam Pomfrey looked stupid from the first wash, but then sighed with relief and shipped me back to my bedside. Hate it terribly fixed dolle already having to hang out here again and wished I were a invulnerable superhero spends their days, to save the world from destruction in the evening and sip champagne in a designer dress megateurem with the Minister and can be told by delicious guys stripped to the waist, as wonderfully beautiful and charming she is. Life as a perfectly ordinary student at Hogwarts is just boring.

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